Well, this tribe has been in limbo for months, as my mind has been occupied with other things, so I thought it was time to get things moving again.
Over the last week I've been away at Queer Pagan Camp. There I ended up having a number of conversations with friends in the second half of their 50s, who are beginning to make plans for their retirements.
All of which made me think about the spaces we want to retire to, what would a queer (and, as ever, I don't just mean queer=LGBT) retirement home would look like.
I'm also interested in the on-going issue of how we make queer spaces more inclusive across the age-range of our communities.
Your thoughts, please....
Over the last week I've been away at Queer Pagan Camp. There I ended up having a number of conversations with friends in the second half of their 50s, who are beginning to make plans for their retirements.
All of which made me think about the spaces we want to retire to, what would a queer (and, as ever, I don't just mean queer=LGBT) retirement home would look like.
I'm also interested in the on-going issue of how we make queer spaces more inclusive across the age-range of our communities.
Your thoughts, please....
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Re: Queer elders
Thu, August 25, 2005 - 2:18 AMyour comments reminded me of how the community in SF rallied around Harry Hay and John Burnside, and helped to take care of them so they could live independent lives and continue their activism. this became even more important after Harry died, and John remained. i really do feel the hallmark of how strong a community is and can be is how they form support for those in need or who have vulnerabilities.
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Re: Queer elders
Thu, August 25, 2005 - 11:11 AMI can't really answer your direct question right now.
All I can really give you is what I hope we in the queer life could aspire to, and a large part of that involves accepting the reality that we, like everyone else human in the world, will age - and that the traits inherent with aging will visit us personally. These include, for starters, changing physical capacity and appearance, greater, lesser, and/or merely different experiences from others (BTW, if you need a reference point for that last point, start at www.beloit.edu/~pubaff/mi.../index.html and contemplate the information noted there.).
Recognizing the major and minor differences, (between older queers and younger, and between older queers and their/our het counterparts) has to be an important consideration in imagining queer elder space. -
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Re: Queer elders
Sat, September 3, 2005 - 3:51 AMThose are very relevant points. Let's think about how those might play out in space (and time) - there are clearly access issues, but also maybe a need to refocus away from the night-time economy.... There must be more... -
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Re: Queer elders
Sat, September 3, 2005 - 10:56 AMi hope im either in a position to be in a state of happy madness or the wits to have control over my life or end of life. as we all age i think issues around Independence are paramount..queer or not. im sure there will be nice middle class gay homes for those who can afford it in the future. my concern is for ppl of a more radical bent and where they will end up. still we all live in bedlam as it is so ain't no difference, just levels of perceived freedoms from its worst excesses... i plan for cuckoo land myself..see you all there!x -
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Re: Queer elders
Sun, September 4, 2005 - 3:09 AMExactly, it's the alternative to cosy middle class gay retirement homes that I'm interested in - inspired by the Low Priestesses dreamings at camp this year.... -
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Re: Queer elders
Fri, December 30, 2005 - 8:00 AMretirement homes are deadly and suck the life force. i look to a space that remains engaged in the flow of life and is not separated from it. when medical care becomes necessary, put the gurney in the street. we've sanitized and segregated old folks. we've got to keep moving to keep healthy and we need each other old and young. its a return to village i see whether the village is in the middle of a city or out in the hinterland. community is a difficult thing to rebuild now that the automobile, materialism and consumerism have blinded us to the basic forces of life that are the only real ones. -
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Re: Queer elders
Fri, December 30, 2005 - 11:11 AMI was hoping you'd chip in on this tread!
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Re: Queer elders
Fri, December 30, 2005 - 11:51 AMOur community had to create healthy and supportive environments for people living with HIV and AIDS. I'm not suggesting that it's the same, but there are certainly some questions pertaining to both of the very diverse issues that would have very similar answers, as of course questions that would have very different answers. I think seeking the imput of those who've had personal experience in various specialized supportive living environments would be beneficial. -
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Re: Queer elders
Fri, December 30, 2005 - 3:21 PMThat's a very good point, in terms of offering support to those in need of care.
However, part of the original question was also about how we make our spaces more inclusive across the generations to, and I think that requires slightly different answers.. -
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Re: Queer elders
Tue, January 3, 2006 - 3:33 PMok so retiremnt homes aside... just been reading "tales of the city", well, when in rome... they have a chapter on an ideal home... the something ranch they called it i think... one where cruising can go on till you croak, one run by drag queens and so on, all very naff!
antyways.... i'd say inclusiveness across the generations requires a community that we dont have. we dont live as queers together in some loose nit geographical space, liked by mutual support, working and playing together. we are a cyber/etherial community that meets up for a fuck or to watch a play or shop on the castro and have coffee.
so how do we build on such unstable ground? how in this crazy world do we connect when were all so seperated? if our "new families" are our queer mates then what makes those mates stick around? we all travel, move, change jobs, adapt so fast how on earth do we work this adaption so we actually do it together, maintain a family/community and then build a trans-generational diologue?
even within a group of radical activist queers its tough as the new generation come along all with bright ideas and energy. they replace the jaded and cynical burnt out activists. neither group connect or swap ideas, so the wheel is reinvented and the man remains in power. it makes me go nuts, but how do we get around it?
im supplying more q's than a's but aint that the shit of it? -
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Re: Queer elders
Tue, January 3, 2006 - 11:41 PMThose are some really good points - particularly about the very loose bonds that (only just) hold our communities together.
So how do *we* (you and I, draeyk) reconnect with the young whipper-snappers who've replaced us jaded 'oldies' in the activist networks we're still part of...? That would be a start.
As Mr Kellan said (at the recent benefit party for the queer G8 arrestees) "if you took all the people aged obver 35 out of this room, who would notice?" -
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Re: Queer elders
Wed, January 4, 2006 - 12:37 PMyeah that's right. over 35 starts the invisibility cloaking shield! the media certainly reinforce that idea with the ideal adonis or colt model. and as the mileage begins to tick up, there are no real role models. and it seems to me that the whole nature of political awareness is being bred out of the population by dumbing down public education [in the US sense] and media coverage. i walked past a newstand earlier today and was alternately amused and then not as i looked at the tabloid screaming next to the so called real newspapers. and i wondered how many people flipped to the editorial page to read in the NYTimes today about the oil/gas/coal crises and the impending medicare [government health insurance]/social security crash as the interest payments achieve parity with the US Pentagon budget by 2010. now that was a wakeup call. i think queer elders like larry kramer are viewed as nuts by many younger gays. how tragic! as he's led the charge for so many and i always enjoy when someone goes off the edge in extremis to make a point. that's what it takes in this day and age to get the boys to take of their iPod headphones and look up! -
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Re: Queer elders
Wed, January 4, 2006 - 4:51 PMyup the dumbing down is extreme here... and the tacit acceptance of the right wing...jesus i watched "meet the press"... the other day and couldnt believe the crap from a so called objective news show! pro catholic/war blah, blah! my friends who is in his 40's now said when hes just watch it slide and slide... well thats tv.
as to the old 35+, fuck the generations are every ten years now aint they! maybe thats something to consider... the old generation being every 25 yrs i feel is out dated, relying on births and a hetero-normative definition is bull.
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anyway what to do? well i guess we're doing it at least in part by remaining engaged. the trick is to not sound like lecturing old bastards when talking to the kids (oops am i be condersending now?) how do we pass on knowledge and experience without alienating ppl? maybe we need an old git's corner so we can come together and talk about this? maybe we need to broach the subject more often and flag it up as an important issue and not us wining, 'cos that how it could be interpreted. agism is an issue that needs to be dealt with.
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Re: Queer elders
Thu, January 5, 2006 - 4:34 AMFor those people in the UK who know Draeyk and me in the flesh:
I know Tara has been talknig about organising a low key caff or similar event for over-35 yo queeruptors and allies to talk this through a bit more. Maybe I'll nudge her to get a move on with this. -
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Re: Queer elders
Thu, January 12, 2006 - 11:06 PMHi! I thought I'd chime in..........
I work at a supportive housing project for HIV positive folks. I know what that is like. It varies from place to place. Of course availability of funds can make or break a place. All cons aside, I do see these as possible models to design and improve housing to fill this need. I think this is actually being done? I recall reading an article about it somewhere.......?
On the other hand, I have worked as a caretaker for an elderly couple. Those folks (even though in their 80's) fit into the radical type aforementioned. I cannot imagine them ever being in an old's folks home.
I think that with the increasing acceptance of homosexuality, retirement homes will spring up catering to our "community". Where there is a buck to be made.......services and such will spring up. I imagine these already exsist? What doesn't exsist really is a dialogue within our community concerning these issues. Without that I fear our "community" will be victim to money making opportunists.......
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Re: Queer elders
Wed, July 5, 2006 - 4:48 PMdeeply inspiring stuff. I work in a nursing home and the thought of ending life on entering there fills me with horror daily. I try and make it as pleasant as I can, but when you invent a community for people that used to have one, and now live in another that doesn't include family or friends, i admit to spending most shifts wondering how the hell I can get out of there. how indeed do we plan on looking after our elders, we are next. and oh i really do hope I am not treated the way I know many of our elders are.
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